Monday, August 4, 2008

Thank You

Kim came over with lunch from Firestone on Saturday and we all got to hang out and eat tri tip in all its glorious forms (sandwich, salad) as well as plenty of ranch (fries, onion rings) and beer (Sierra Nevada Southern Hemisphere Harvest, aka the best beer in the entire universe).

While she was here, she mentioned how many thank you notes she was going to have to write that evening. I told her how guilty I'd felt that I had slacked off writing thank you notes to everyone who has (post-baby) gotten us gifts. I have every good intention in the world of writing them! And I'm really appreciative! And if you know me, you know I'm normally on the ball with the thank you notes! And, really, there is nothing on earth I love more than an excuse to buy stationery and especially new pens (except maybe to buy cooking equipment, but even then ...).

It's just ... well, I don't often travel with baby because I like the comfort of our home. And so I will tell myself "Okay, I'll just go tomorrow" or something and that'll be the day Phoebe is just not in the mood for anything other than eating, pooping and crying. I mean, I have old thank you cards (because it always seems I use all but like 3 in the package or something) and then I can't remember who has gotten which ones and then I'd feel silly sending the same person the same thank you card if they've gotten one of that pattern previously. Because, you know, in my mind they have memorized the patterns of every card I've ever sent and will totally judge me for sending the same thank you card more than once.

I know, self-absorption has never been a problem for me.

This fear is so horrible I've even considered keeping track of who has gotten which cards so that I can make sure I know -- for a fact -- I won't be sending the same card to the same people. I even imagine the little box I'd put them in and the little list I'd keep in each section.

And -- if you know me-- you know I don't organize ANYTHING. Even my spice cabinet is barely separated into:

--spice blends (lawry's seasoned salt, rib rub, pappy's, salad supreme)
--stuff I use all the time (basil, cumin, white pepper, oregano, red pepper flakes)
--stuff I don't use that often (arrowroot, star anise, cardamom pods)
--and a separate shelf for "sweets/baking" stuff (allspice, chocolate chips, cinnamon, sprinkles, baking powder, etc.)

So I'm pretty much paralyzed by my ego and a slight touch of agoraphobia, plus my whole "if it's not perfect, I can't even try" mental illness. It's not really agoraphobia or mental illness, but staying home with baby is infinitely easier than going out and, you know, what's wrong with wanting things to be just so?

In a fit of motivation I even considered doing a "fashion show" of Phoebe wearing all the different outfits everyone has bought her and sending those (at least via email) as thank yous, but then I realized how incredibly complicated and horrible that would be as she barely tolerates getting dressed once a day (she loves being naked ... of course). Not to mention I'm like at a pre-school level with the digital camera.

I just want everyone to know -- I really love everything we've gotten! And so does Phoebe! And people have been very generous! (Rosalie, Dolores, Leanne, Kim, Anid, Great-Grandma Dessa, Grandma Shelley, Grandma Cathy and Aunt Chaunteel, Richard, Julia, and I'm sure other people I'm probably forgetting because I am a horrible person who doesn't deserve presents for my daughter, but please don't take it out on her -- she'll learn to write someday and I'll make her write thank you notes in a timely fashion, I promise!).

So if you read my blog, and you've bought a present for the baby (or for me, for my birthday) and haven't gotten a thank you card, please consider this my THANK YOU ... at least until I can manage to make it into SLO and go stationery shopping.

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