Thursday, October 30, 2008

Uhh yeah I bet you totally forgot about that one time you gave birth to me, too, huh? No? Oh, um, sorry



This picture was taken at my baby shower at the end of the long day and evening and I was SO TIRED of having my picture taken, but my mom insisted. So that's a picture of my mom, me, and Phoebe and it was taken on Mother's day -- which at the time made me totally want to vomit.

Yesterday was my mom's birthday and I totally didn't blog about it.

BUT! I did remember to send a card. And that is why I am her favorite. Sorry, Walter.

I also got her a gift and she's coming this weekend so she can get it then.

I am looking forward to my mom coming to visit this weekend. It's going to be great -- it's raining, Geoff is going to the Berkeley game with the male members of his family (including Favorite Grandpa Jack, who will be 90 in March) and I'm sure we'll be able to find ways to entertain ourselves that don't involve wine or chips and salsa and Sex and the City, but I am equally sure we won't be looking for them.

My best friend Kim's mom died earlier this year after a very long (and damn she kicked cancer's ass for a LONG time) battle with cancer. Kim's mom won't ever meet Kim's (yet to be born) kids. And while I know she's in heaven (with Kim's dad, who died in February -- this has not been a good year) watching down on her. I also know that it must be really really hard for her. More than I think anyone can know. And so sometimes I feel guilty telling her that my mom is coming. Or how much my mom LOVES holding Phoebe when she's around her. Because I don't want to come across as insensitive.

Friendships can turn delicate the more comfortable you become.

And so I started thinking today -- as I often think about Kim and her relationship with her mom -- what that must have been like when her mom was near the end of her life and Kim was taking care of her in her parents' home. And I wondered "What would Kim have said to her mom?" since it would have seemed like -- in those moments anyway -- that you should say something profound, and meaningful. At least that's the struggle I would be having. And coming up with the nerve to say it.

And I thought about what I'd want Phoebe to say to me.

And I thought the best thing she could say to me would be "You did a really good job, Mom. I love you."

And I realized that I don't think I've ever told my mom that before. So since it was her (3rd or 4th -- I'm losing track) 29th birthday yesterday, I thought I should tell her.

You did a really good job, Mom. I love you.

2 comments:

Annie said...

Thank you for making the pregnant lady cry first thing in the morning!! Happy birthday to your mom! :)

Geoff said...

Great stuff baby.