Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Month 11, A Review

Dear Phoebe,

On Sunday you turned 11 months old. And just in case I had forgotten that the 36 hours of active labor I had with you ended 11 months before, your grandmother called me yesterday to "remind" me that you had a "birthday".

I did not forget.

We went to Morro Bay on Sunday so you could indulge your love of playing in the sand. I was trying to ignore the sand fleas (that's what your dad said they're called, seriously -- sand fleas) and ladybugs everywhere while you were crawling around, digging your hands and feet in the sand and watching it trickle through your fingers.

I told your dad that he needs a son because girls don't like bugs and playing in dirt. He said "Whatever, she's gonna be my fishing buddy".

I hope you guys have fun.

In the past month you have discovered (finally!) crawling and you are using this new skill to get all over the place. You crawl from the front door to the back sliding glass door, stopping to topple over the dog food along the way. I thought I'd get smart one day and switch the bowls so the water would be closer to your path of destruction, but you just spilled the water all over the carpet, which was significantly more difficult to clean up.

You haven't tried eating the dog food (I understand this is common among babies, or that's what my mom said when she told me I used to do it), but that doesn't surprise me because you still haven't figured out feeding yourself real food. You love when I put Cheerios on your high chair tray, but you won't eat them unless I feed you.

I'm thinking this is a pretty good arrangement you've got going.

Every day -- about 500 times -- I read you "Brown Bear, Brown Bear What Do You See". You laugh EVERY SINGLE TIME. Every time. You love that book so much you won't let me read you anything else. I tried, but you aren't as interested. You have another book that looks similar, but you can tell them apart and you know which one is Brown Bear. I ordered some more books for you yesterday, including one by the same author and artist called "Polar Bear Polar Bear What Do You Hear" and I'm hoping you will like it as much.

You're not yet interested in walking, but a few times each day your dad and I will try to make you stand up and you get excited for a little while, but then lift your legs up so we can set you back down. I still can't imagine that you'll be walking at some point.

During the past 2 weeks you have started getting 3 teeth on the top -- all at the same time. You've been drooling and generally crabby and waking me up every few hours at night because you're in pain. We give you motrin every few hours and ice water in your little cup (which you LOVE, by the way) and those seem to help.

I'm starting the plans for your first birthday, but so far the only things I have settled are that we're serving sausages and ice cream cake and plenty of booze for the adults. Location is yet to be determined, but we know we're going to celebrate on June 20th -- the day before Father's Day which I think is significant because it was on Father's Day last year I went into labor with you.

Earlier today I did my workout DVD (so I can lose the baby weight before you're a year old at least) and you were being crabby and not napping so I put you in your playpen with all your toys and your water cup and you laughed so hard at my doing jumping jacks I had to pause the DVD I was laughing so hard. I agree: jumping jacks are ridiculous! But I loved that little moment because I was so frustrated that you weren't taking a nap and your laughter made me just appreciate that you were there in the room with me.

Your eye surgery is still on track for June 9th and while I try not to get anxious about it, I can't help but anticipate the ache in my heart I'm going to feel when I hand you over to the doctors to do their thing. I know it's only going to be 30 minutes, but I'm afraid walking away and leaving you is going to be the most difficult part of the procedure.

We sacrifice a lot in order to spend so much time with you and I love every minute of it -- even when I'm tired and frustrated. Lately, you're getting tired of just seeing my face all day and you are now starting to get curious about other babies and children.

Yesterday we were at the park and you were watching these two young kids playing on a slip and slide, content to sit in my lap and sing me your little songs. You're not babbling yet, but you coo and sing songs to your dad and I -- it's so sweet. When we mimic you, you laugh. I guess we're not very good at speaking your language.

I can't believe you are almost a year old. Time has gone by so quickly. I'm putting together a video montage of the pictures we've taken of your first year and the whole time I'm thinking "I wish I had taken more" (there's hundreds of pictures). I see a picture of a day with you and I think "Dangit! I wish I could go back to THAT moment and take more pictures!"

But of course I can't.

I once read that before getting married, a couple should spend one year together because that way they will celebrate all the holidays together and really get the chance to know each other in all seasons and what their traditions are.

I think this past (almost) year we've spent with you has been an amazing adventure of getting to know you and watch you grow. I look forward to the coming year when you will be more aware of the holidays that are meaningful for us and then seeing how each one changes as you get a little bit older. While I don't feel like I've gotten any older, I know that you have. Just today your dad said "I can see the age in her face now -- she looks like a little girl and not a baby".

While I wish that I could just constantly take pictures and video of every single day we spend together to save them to look at later, I know I can't. Life is meant to be lived and not just spent recording it all. I guess that's why I've been slacking on the blog. I just don't want to sit at the computer and write. I want to be on the floor with you, stacking your blocks (so you can knock them down, of course) and reading you Brown Bear for the millionth time.

Your laughter and your smile just light up our lives. We love you so much. I realize it's going to take you awhile to grow up and that you have so many milestones to achieve yet. I'd love for you to stay my little baby forever, but I'm so excited and ready to see what comes next.

And I feel really really lucky that I get a front row seat to it all.


1 comment:

Annie said...

Wow, I can't believe she will be 1 next month! I love the pic of her cashed out in her pack-n-play!!