Friday, September 4, 2009

Why I Love Geoff

Our trash can has had a -- how can I even begin to describe this -- putrid smell for the past few months.

I have no idea WHAT we put in there outside of a trash bag that would fester and give off that smell, but it's really really bad.

Like bad cheese and poop smell.

It's disgusting.

I've poured bleach in there, baking soda and Mr. Clean with Febreze. I've sprayed it with Lysol.

And it still smells REALLY really bad.

It's also right outside the kitchen door in the garage.

This past week it was particularly ripe what with the really hot weather and I can only imagine how many maggots are in there that didn't get "popped" by Geoff last week.

So I asked my friend Kim.

"Kim," I said. "Do you think I could just call the garbage company and be all 'So our trash can REALLY smells and is possibly full of maggots, so, like, can we get a fresh one?'"

She said "OF COURSE YOU CAN!"

I told Geoff that night.

"Geoff," I said. "Kim said we can just call the garbage company and they'll come pick up the smelly one and leave a fresh one!"

He didn't look convinced.

Every time we've put trash into the trash can this past week, we have gagged. The smell sticks in the garage for a few minutes, wafting into the kitchen.

It's HORRIBLE.

And every time he complained, I said "Geoff, I'm telling you -- we just gotta call the garbage company and tell them to bring us a new can!"

Yesterday was trash day and -- as he does every Thursday morning -- Geoff took the trash and recycling cans out to be collected and later -- as he does every Thursday evening -- brought them back inside the garage.

I was at the grocery store when he brought them back inside.

When I got back, he said to me, "I think we got the wrong trash can again" ((a few weeks ago, someone took our recycling can and so we took the one that was left the next day, but NOBODY has EVER taken our smelly trash can by mistake)).

I said "What? Why do you think that?"

He said "Because the one that was left was a really smelly one with a bunch of like stuff at the bottom and it was all wet".

I said "Geoff, that's our trash can -- it's wet from all the cleaning stuff I've dumped in there and our trash can SMELLS!"

REMEMBER!?

And he said "Well, I cleaned it all out though so it's not bad anymore."

I paused.

I thought "Huh, that's funny, I mean, when you clean out a trash can ... where do you, you know, put what you cleaned out of it?"

And then I got concerned.

He -- obviously read my mind -- said "Yeah, I just put it in the kitchen trash can."

...

...

...

I said "Okay, so lemme get this straight -- you cleaned out the smelly disgusting crap from the outside trash can, and put it INTO THE KITCHEN trash can?"

He kind of laughed and said "Well, at least it's not out in the heat of the garage!"

I said "Yeah, now it's just IN THE KITCHEN!"

And he said "Well, I guess I could put that trash bag into the outside trash".

It's been 12 hours since that conversation.

I'm about to go put the kitchen trash bag outside in the outside trash can.

And give the trash company a call for good measure.

1 comment:

Annie said...

LOL! What's that saying? "Behind every good man..." you know the one. Do you think without us, they would be the same way, or does marriage make them so dependent on us, that certain parts of their brain have shut off when the ring goes on their finger?