Friday, January 15, 2010

This is how it always happens

Yesterday, Annie and I went to Subway to get some sandwiches for our planned picnic at the Lake.

And the same thing happened there that happens EVERY SINGLE TIME I go to Subway. That is to say the employee helping me didn't listen and I tried not to get annoyed.

Subway Employee: Can I help you?

Me: Yes, I'd like a foot-long on the honey wheat

Subway Employee: What kind of meat?

Me: Hmm ... I think I'll try cold cut combo today. With swiss.

S.E.: Do you want cheese with that?

Me: Yes. Swiss.

S.E.: Do you want it toasted?

Me: No. No thank you.

S.E.: Do you want lettuce, tomato ...?

Me: I want everything. Even jalapenos and pepperoncinis.

S.E.: Okay. (putting lettuce and tomato) Do you want cucumber?

Me: Yes, I want everything.

S.E.: Okay, do you want onion?

Me: Yes. Everything. Even the jalapenos.

S.E.: You want dressing?

Me: Yes, oil, vinegar, mustard, mayo. All of it.

S.E.: Okay, mayo?

Me: Yes. All of it.

S.E.: Okay, you want anything else?

Me: Yes, this bag of Cheetos I just set down by the register.

S.E.: Anything to drink?

Me (resigned): Yes, okay, a medium.

S.E.: Okay, the medium is right there

Me (confused): Wait -- which one is medium?

S.E. (indicates what I consider a LARGE): That one.

Me (resigned): Okay.

S.E.: Is this to go?

Me (angsty toddler on my hip): Yes. QUICKLY FOR THE LOVE OF JESUS CHRIST!

Why can't it be simple?

I try to be efficient about it, but they always crush my dreams of efficiency.

And I know why. Because of customers like the lady who was in front of me getting a foot-long and getting different veggies on each half of her sandwich. So her order went a little something like this:

Lady: Okay I want olives and cucumbers on one half and tomatoes and lettuce on the other.

S.E.: Okay

Lady: Okay now on the side that has olives and cucumbers, I want jalapenos. And on the side with tomatoes and lettuce, I want onion.

S.E.: Okay

Lady: Okay now on the side with the olives and cucumbers, I want mayo, but no mustard and on the side with tomatoes and lettuce, I want oil and vinegar.

I just wanted to tap her on the shoulder and go "Look, I'll buy you another foot-long if you just make this easy on all of us by getting the same toppings across the entire goddamned sandwich"

I don't often eat there, but I know that every single time I do, I'm going to get the same display of common sense by both customers and employees.

I'm not always sure the headache and annoyance is worth it for a $5 sandwich.


Annie said...

LOL! SO true. My favorite is when the employee says, "What can I get you?" and the customer says,"Foot-long on wheat." E: "OK, what kind of sandwich?" C: "Wheat." E: "OK, but what kind of sandwich?" C: "Whe... Oh. Turkey." You know that's going to be a looooong visit to Subway! Why is it SO difficult to order a sandwich for some people?

Unknown said...

I have to admit that we'd probably be one of those people that'd annoy you. We buy a footlong for $5 then split it. But we usually have them cut it in half first and then build it like two 6 inches. (Shane and I don't like the same toppings!) But then I've also bought a $5 footlong and had them cut it into 3 parts to split between the kids. I'm cheap like that.