Monday, January 9, 2012

Biapers

A couple of weeks ago we went to Farmer's Market in SLO to hang out with my in-laws who were in town and wanted to go.

We had finished eating, and I was feeling jovial so I got 2 frozen yogurts (1 for me, 1 for the kids).  I occasionally put the toasted almonds on my frozen yogurts, but that night I wavered -- ever so slightly -- before deciding to go ahead and put them on.  Omega-3s and what-not.  Good for the baby.

My yogurt was almost finished (30 seconds later), when I laughed at something and started choking on one of the almonds.  My husband didn't notice, and neither did my in-laws, until the moment I crouched down to hide -- as best as possible -- the fact that with each cough, I was slowly peeing my pants.

Yes.

At Farmer's Market.  On a ridiculously busy night because everyone was in town on vacation and balmy enough that jackets weren't necessary.

Geoff asked if I was okay, and between stifled coughs, I told him "I'm ... peeing ... my ... pants".

And I wrapped the hoodie I'd just bought him for Christmas around my waist, awkwardly, while trying to put on my (mercifully, long) jacket and looking around -- desperately -- for bathrooms.

There were none even remotely close to where we were.  In a well-lighted area.  Where everyone in 3 counties and all my ex-boyfriends and their wives just saw me pee my pants.

The next day, I decided to peruse the feminine products aisle for ... well ... anything absorbent and discrete.

I would, of course, go through self-checkout.

Having not had a period in over 2 years now, I wasn't really sure what I was looking for, but I found some "Poise liners" and decided those would work because they're intended to catch pee, but also ... weren't in the "You've got incontinence and everyone knows about it" aisle.

Said ex-boyfriends and their perfectly continent wives were also at Albertson's that day.


Shortly after trying out my new potty pads (fyi: highly recommend them), I had to go to the bathroom (something I do not take for granted when one is a few feet from my location).  And, as happens when a parent of young children (including one who is potty training) goes to the bathroom, my kids happened to see the pottyliner in my underwear.

Phoebe looked and smiled and said "Mommy wears biiiiiiapers!"

I laughed and said (to my sweet little daughter who is only allowed diapers at night and during naps and has had ZERO accidents since we started the potty training) "Ohhh no no sweetie that's not a diaper.  Mommy has a baby in mommy's tummy and that means ..."

"... Mommy have baby in tummy, make mommy tiiiiiiiiired"

"... yes, sweetie, it makes mommy tired, but also, the baby sometimes makes mommy have to go ... potty ... in ... her ... pants ... and ... yes.  It's a biaper.  Mommy is wearing a biaper."

This is my 3rd baby in under 4 years.  I believe I'm allowed a little bladder forgiveness.

2 comments:

Karen said...

:D Oh, Phoebe. I love that girl.

Karen said...

PS- I *love* your profile pic- love the shorty bangs on you!